Living with BPD Is Harder in a City
Living with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is harder in a city. Coping with the condition is difficult at the best of times, but living in a chaotic city environment makes my BPD symptoms worse. I live in Lima, one of the largest cities in the South American continent, and it plays havoc with my BPD.
Living with BPD in a City
Being in a noisy and chaotic environment makes it difficult for me to feel level and calm. I have constant traffic noise outside my window because I live on a main road. Several times a day, I hear giant trucks thundering past or the wail of a police car.
This constant stimulation keeps my anxiety at moderate levels throughout the day. I wake up anxious and usually fall asleep in the same state. If I want to try to meditate, I will regularly be interrupted by sounds from outside. This makes it very difficult for me to stay in control of my emotions.
Living in a city like Lima also has its unique challenges. Despite living in one of the safest neighborhoods, I always have to be on high alert when I walk out the door. This constant vigilance and general suspicion also have a toll on my mental health. If I have to walk my dog at night, I feel consumed with paranoia and anxiety.
I also do not feel like I am really living when I am in the city. Because of the stressful environment, I fall into patterns of eating, sleeping, working, and watching movies. The heaviness of the city hangs over me and prevents me from feeling positive or optimistic emotions.
Living with BPD Outside the City
I notice the difference immediately when I am outside of the city. When I am in the mountains or the countryside, it feels like a heavy blanket being lifted off my shoulders. Away from the city’s stress and chaos, I feel more grounded and in control of myself.
I also notice that it is easier to live healthy outside of the city. I naturally fall asleep earlier and wake up earlier. I don’t spend several hours a day ruminating on my mental state and my responsibilities, and I can simply exist. Away from the constant stimulation and movement, my brain is a lot more still.
When I am living healthy patterns and resting in nature, my mental health immediately benefits. I can escape from my own mind and focus on practicing mindfulness. Surrounded by beautiful scenery, I can also appreciate the situation I am in and feel more thankful for my life.
How I Cope with BPD in the City
In the following video, I discuss how I cope with my BPD symptoms in the city. I also talk about why I have ultimately decided to move to a small countryside town.
Do you notice that your BPD symptoms are worse in city environments? Have you ever moved to a different place to cope with your symptoms better? Let me know in the comments.